A year ago

I'm supposed to upload a picture of me from a year ago and talk about how I've changed.  However, since Facebook sucks, it's a pain to pull pics off the site and upload them so I suppose you will have to imagine what I looked like a year ago, i.e. basically the same with slightly longer hair and more weight.

How have I changed?  Well, I've lost about 15 pounds so that's good.  I got engaged to be married so that's a big one.  I went vegan a little over a year ago which was the single most important decision in my life.  Really though I have the same job, same apartment, same gf since last year so there hasn't been a huge shift, except in my perception of things.  I'm actively trying to be positive, something I never would have fathomed a year ago.  I just want to be the change I want to see, as cheesy as that may sound!

Giving Up?

Ok so is it totally lame to give up on a 30 Day Blog Challenge halfway through when I've already missed plenty of days?  Today is supposed to be about goals but honestly I'm so confused about my goals at this point in my life that I don't even know what to say.  My only real goal is to have a wedding without too much drama.  As far as work, I just don't know anymore.  I don't really like my job. It's not challenging at all, but then again I get paid to read celebrity blogs and watch movies on occasion.  There are certainly worse things out there but I just don't feel like I'm contributing to the greater good here.  We make movies, horrible ones at that.  But I mean, do I want to be a nutritionist?  A yoga instructor?  A housewife?  I just don't know and I feel like I'm getting to that age that it's no longer acceptable to not know...

Ok so that's a downer.  I guess here are some of my goals.
1. Lose another 10 pounds. I want to be a skinny person.  There. I said it.
2. Finish my novel.
3. Find a more fulfilling job.
4. Adopt another kitten.
5. Rent a house in the next year or so.
6. If I rent said house, and it has a backyard, I would also love a goat and a bunny!
7. Volunteer more hours at Animal Acres.
8. Meditate more.
9. Work out 5 days a week.
10. Drink less but still be fun!

Alright I think that there is enough goals!  Le sigh.  Looks like I won't be quitting this blog challenge after all; it just means it will take me about twice as long!

I'm so not good at Blog Challenges

Haha as made apparent. I am not so good at blog challenges.  Today has been a toughie.  Not only is it Monday, but I'm exhausted.  Not sure why but I think it's because I worked out super hard over the weekend and just dread coming to work.  Now Becca and I are fighting about our wedding. Of course this is nothing new but we're getting so close that every fight just feels silly.

Ok so the topic for today is what I never leave home without.  That's easy.  My purse, wallet, cards, cell phone, Bobble.

A quote I love

This is a quote that I intend to use during my vows. "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close." - Pablo Neruda


Nice message to leave y'alls on this fine Friday. 

Fears

Ok so obviously I failed this 30 day blog challenge.  However, in my defense, last weekend I flew to Tahoe to finish our final tastings for our upcoming nuptials.  Happy to say we have our vegan cake and entree!  The bad news is that I also got a pretty wicked cold/sinus infection.    So yes, I didn't do any writing.

The good news is I'm feeling much better, albeit a little tired.  Ok a lot tired. All the time.

So today's challenge topic is to talk about something I'm afraid of.  The first and most obvious to anyone that knows me are clowns.  I absolutely hate them.  Even the funny, cute ones  that are supposed to make you laugh.  Not a fan.  The root of all this is of course Stephen King's IT.  When I was about 5 years old, my family watched the movie, but my older sister covered my eyes for all the scary parts.  I really thought it was just a movie about kids and a clown.  So when my friends Cassandra and Kelli said that they had a copy of IT to watch, I boasted I'd already seen it.  They were impressed and we decided to watch it together.  Riddle my little mind blown when I actually watched the gruesome movie. In reality, it's not a very good movie.  Downright cheesy in parts.  But damn it if the opening scene of the little tricycle wheel spinning STILL doesn't make me scream.  Pennywise ruined clowns for me.

I also used to have a little blue clown doll that you wound up.  He would play music and tilt his head from side to side.  My older brother once got mad at me and ripped the clown's head off.  My mother fixed his head but now when you wound him up, the circus song would play and his HEAD WOULD FRIGGIN SPIN ALL THE WAY AROUND. I was terrified, so much so that I couldn't even throw him away.  I thought he would come back and find me so he got a coveted place on the front shelf by my bed to scare me all through the night.  I have no idea why I thought close proximity to my head would appease him...

Next, and also somewhat relating to my fear of clowns, is the fact that I hate the dark.  I don't know if I'd go so far as to say that I'm afraid of the dark per se, more just that I hate it.  I used to sleep with a light or television on constantly.  Now I'm nearly 29 years old so I can stand to turn out the lights.  However, sometimes when I wake up scared, I will still lie extremely still in case there's something bad out there, namely a clown living under my bed.

A favorite pic of a best friend

My best friend and I have been friends since I was three years old and moved next door to her.  We have seen each other through a lot.  There were times that we weren't super close and others when we were.  he will be my Maid of Honor and I love her very much.  She's the kind of girl that I can forget to call for months but when we talk, it's like no time has passed.  Here's a picture from a few years ago that I love.

What makes me happy

Oh wow.  This is a great topic.  What exactly makes me happy.  First of all, I have to say FOOD!  Food makes me very happy.  Gotta give shout-outs to Gardein, Spork Foods, Cafe Gratitude, and so many other cruelty-free products and restaurants.  It's funny because before I went vegan, I think that I took food for granted.  I didn't really taste anything or understand my relationship with food.  However, now I am practically orgasmic for certain foods.  It's fabulous, made all the more better by being compassionate as well!

Animal Acres makes me extremely happy.  My good friend Kelly planned my bridal shower there and it was more than I could ask for.  Not only did it get many people that otherwise would not step foot on a farm there, but I think some of my friends finally made the connection between the animals out there to the ones on their plate.  Yes, there were a few jokesters who made bacon comments in front of the pigs (which enraged me but I kept my cool) but for the the most part everyone was on their best behavior.  Animal Acres is just so lovely.  It's apparent that the staff truly loves and cares for the animals. They couldn't ask for better homes than Acton.

My girlfriend/fiancee/wife-to-be makes me happy.  She's my best friend and the only person I've ever been able to spend so much time with without being driven crazy.  Sure we fight sometimes and I get mad at her, but she's helped me become a better person.  She's unlocked a loving part of myself that I had hidden away.  Becca really is the best.

Brand new babies (including but not limited to human) make me happy.  Our friends just had their first son two days ago and I'm very excited to meet the little guy!  I will also be attending my first bris which makes me nervous I'm not going to lie.  However, I love how newborns look, smell and feel.  I love anything that just sleeps and looks cute all the time!

Traveling to new places makes me happy as well.  Perhaps not the travel part since I dislike airports and get bored in cars but nevertheless, I love being somewhere new.

And finally yoga makes me happy!  I am a new convert and still don't get to practice as often as I'd like due to my hours but I love every second that I do attend.  I am getting back into the habit of going at 6:15 am just to round out my 6 am bootcamps haha.  I am getting more into the idea of liking exercise so yoga is my transition.

Pet Peeves

Uh oh this could be a long one!  Today's topic is pet peeves.  I would have to say that as an LA driver, turn signals are one of my biggest pet peeves.  How hard is it to flick a turn signal? For serious people!  Yes, I will ride your ass and no I don't know that you will suddenly slam on your breaks and turn into the In N Out Burger, you fatty.  But if you'd merely turn on a signal then I might be able to anticipate your move rather than skid to a stop just shy of your bumper while simultaneously looking in the rearview for people that may rear end me.  Turn signals are easy.  USE THEM.

Next one is due to the fact that I work in an office for a producer.  I understand that everyone that calls for my boss thinks he/she is the most important person in the universe.  However, if you say, "Hey, this is John" or Adam, Susan, or any other ridiculously common name, DO NOT be offended when I ask you to clarify with a last name.  Please don't say, "Oh he knows me" as I have no doubt that he does.  But I can't very well say, "John on one" without him asking John who.  So do us all a favor and acknowledge that you have a common name just say the full name.  Oh, and to assistants who do this as well.  You are even worse because you are aware how annoying your boss is and still don't supply a last name.

My newest pet peeve, one I didn't even know existed till now, is people that don't RSVP.  I mean, I understand if you get an Evite and don't click Maybe right away but I'm planning a wedding here, people.  Not to sound conceited but you should feel lucky to have been invited.  Believe me, we hacked and hacked at our list until we had something reasonable.  So if you get an invitation, just RSVP back yay or nay.  And do not invite a guest unless it is specified on your invitation.  That's just tacky and rude!

My final pet peeve of the day is a silly one and even I acknowledge this.  However, if I have to read one more celebrity saying that they "don't really exercise, they just eat small meals five times a day" I will set the magazine on fire.  I'm sorry but you have nothing to do all day but interview, cook, exercise and whatever else it is that you do to feel normal.  Here's a secret: THEY ALL EXERCISE.  They all have personal trainers and nutritionists.  They eschew bread, freeze grapes as snacks and always pass up desert unless of course being photographed.  Stop lying about it, celebs.  You only help perpetuate a stereotype and it's not even true!

Alright and scene.  I will now take a deep breath and calm down!  Thanks for listening to me vent :)

Inspiration

Ok so my b.  Already failed the 30 day blog challenge by not posting at all this weekend but I was a busy girl.  So I decided that I would continue in spite of my lack of discipline.  So today is about what inspires me.  Right now animals are a huge inspiration to me.  I am going to attend Farm Sanctuary's Walk For Farm Animals which will raise money for the sanctuary.  It's so important to help organizations like this because the sanctuary helps raise awareness for the plight of farm animals.  It also exposes people to farms, many of whom would never otherwise know how friendly farm animals can be.

The Spork Sisters are also incredibly inspiring.  They have a cookbook coming out in October and I can't wait!  They offer amazing vegan cooking classes but beyond that, they are true examples of veganism at it's best.  They are not judgmental at all.  They believe in what they do and teach so it's fantastic to be around them. They're cheerfulness is totally addictive and the good news is that it rubs off as well!!!

My friends also inspire me because they stick with their convictions and help me to lead a fuller life.  I will be forever grateful.  And of course my bride-to-be helps inspire me to be a better person.  I strive to keep us healthy and happy.  Because I met her, I am able to better myself for her.  I am so grateful to have met her!

First Love

Oh man, okay so here it goes.  Today's topic is about first love.  My first love came about when I was sixteen years old.  As I look back on it, I'm not entirely sure why I cared so deeply for him.  Everyone told me he was a bad guy but I defended him to the end.  He was cute, in an awkward, crooked teeth, red-headed way. But to me he was the cutest boy I'd ever seen and the only boy I ever wanted...at least at the time.

I was  bit wayward in my youth so he and I met at a party in which I got so drunk I passed out on his friend's filthy disgusting mattress.  He stayed with me until I fell asleep then left to his apartment which was up the stairs.  As a sidetone, when his friend moved out and we moved said mattress, there were maggots living underneath it.  Yep, it was basically a disgusting flop house.  But hey I was only a kid.

So the guy, let's call him Ginger for his red hair, and I flirted for a couple weeks.  All I wanted was for him to ask me out.  He had a reputation as a player but spent every day with him so I knew it was all exaggeration.  After about two or three weeks, he finally asked me out in the backseat of my best friend's car.  It was magical....or at least so I thought at the time.  I think it went more like, "Hey, we should go out." Me: (SWOON) Yes!  Then I believe we drank a fifth of Vodka and ended up coffee camping at Denny's.  Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of...

So we dated for I think about three or four months.  Not totally sure of the timeline.  As you can see, my memory was alcohol induced.  How did it all end you ask?  Well, first three of my best friends died in a car accident.  It was the absolute worst thing that has ever happened to me and it still hurts to this day despite over a decade elapsing.  At a time when a boyfriend should be comforting and close to his girlfriend, Ginger would break up with me then about an hour later would apologize only to do the same thing over and over the next day.  It was a turbulent roller coaster of a relationship.

The final nail in our coffin came one night when I was home and I got a phone call.  It was Ginger's ex-girlfriend who had actually moved into his apartment with his parents.  She had been thrown out of her house so they took her in.  After all, Ginger had dated her for two years so she was close with his family.  I never questioned the arrangement because I thought he was the most charitable guy ever.  Of course I still very much hated her, going as far as to steal her sweatshirt, graffiti it and wear it all over town. Well, Ginger's ex informed me that she was pregnant.  At first, I didn't understand why she was telling me this.  Then I realized that she was telling me because she was pregnant with Ginger's baby.  I felt like all the air was sucked out of me.

Yep, my boyfriend had his ex-girlfriend call me to break up with me for him because he'd been cheating on me the whole time and knocked her up.  This was of course enough for me never to speak to him again...not.  No, later he begged me to take him back, claimed he didn't love his ex but rather me.  Silly sixteen-year-old that I was, I believed him and took him back.  We played the he dumps me then apologizes thing for awhile until he just sorta stopped coming over and I sorta stopped looking for him.  I heard later that he moved somewhere back East.

So there you have it. I was a pathetic lovesick teen and it truly bothers me how dumb I was.  In retrospect, I know he never loved me. (I should have known since his first declaration of love was in a letter he wrote me while he was in Juvenile Hall telling me he loved me and please wait for him. It had all seemed very romantic so I waited.  Every day I stayed home waiting for him to call during Rec Hour. Some days he did, some days he didn't.  When I wrote him back telling him I loved him as well, he never wrote another letter.  I wrote two a day.)  All Ginger really wanted was my money and easy access to booze.

I actually saw him about six years ago.  He now works at the Dollar Store in my hometown.  I've heard he has five kids, two with the same ex, the other three with other women on the East Coast. I was visiting from Film School and ran into him.  For years I'd pondered what I would say or do if I ever saw him again.  None of those witty, biting comments came out.  I just turned bright red and stuttered.  My mom told me I looked white as a ghost.  I then proceeded to vomit in the parking lot.  My mom took me to a bar across the street and got me drunk.  It was the only time I've ever done shots with my mom.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Nicknames

Ok so today's topic is nicknames.  This at first struck me as silly because I don't really have nicknames then I started thinking of some stories in which nicknames were assigned to me.  My first nickname was merely Britt, though with two t's.  I hate when people write Brit.  My grandmother always does!

But for the far more fun nicknames, I would say that Brat-ney or Bitch-ney were common as a prepubescent and teenager.  In soccer, I was often called Brat-ney because I threw fits if I didn't get my way.  Not much changed as I grew older except we were now allowed to curse.   Regardless, it's not my favorite memory of being such a brat that people labeled me as such.

My favorite nickname is Beerney.  This was given to me by my dear friend during our first year of film school together.  We were hanging out in the boys' dorm watching movies, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes.  She meant to say, "Brittany, can you get me a beer?"  Instead she said, "Beerney, can you get me a britt."  It may not sound as righteously funny now but at the time we nearly wet ourselves giggling.  The boys thought we were nuts.  Nevertheless, my friend still calls me Beerny to this day.

Another nickname is Ruger.  I went to Vegas with a few Los Angeles friends to celebrate a birthday party.  On our first day, we went to Starbucks where they massacred all of our names.  Mine came out Ruger.  Still no idea how the baristas managed that one but so it goes... Anyhoo, we decided that our Starbucks names would be our alter egos. Ruger came out many times during the course of that trip, mostly when drunk.  While in a total state of intoxication, I actually threw ranch dressing at my friend.  She still will not let me forget it!  But the highlight of that trip was when we got an accidental text message that read: "Can you take Laylani to church?  She really needs to go."  Obviously Laylani had gotten herself into some trouble and needed Jesus' help.  We sent back a ridiculous reply and then headed to the airport.  It was an epically fun Vegas trip and my friends will still call me Ruger when I drink from time to time.

Long time, no write

As always, I will start this post with a woops, it's been way too long post.  However, for the next 30 days (give or take) that will all change.  I'm going to do the 30 Day Blog Challenge which actually has nothing to do with being vegan, but rather it's about writing something every day.  So it's about to get personal up in here!

Since it is day one, I am supposed to share a recent picture, introduce myself and share 15 interesting facts about myself.  Of course the interesting part is subjective so let's do this.

This picture was taken at the Wiltern just before the band Fun. came on stage.  They are one of my all-time favorite ones and it was a great show.

So a new introduction.  I am now 28 years old.   I am still an assistant to a producer, though the more I learn about nutrition, yoga and other "hippie dippy" stuff, the more I wonder if this is the industry I want to stay in.  I may go back to school for nutrition but that is at least another year off.  Got to give myself time.  I am also a writer and avid reader.  I am engaged to a great woman and will be getting married in September.

Facts:
1. I am mostly vegan.
2. I am a lesbian
3. I am at 42, 519 words as of today in my new novel.
4. I have 2 fur babies, Pinkerton and Wilco.
5. I like to cook.
6. I juice every day.
7. My VitaMix was the best gift I ever got.
8. My favorite book is the Count of the Monte Cristo.
9. My favorite movie is The Godfather.
10. A movie I will always watch if it is on is The Sweetest Thing.
11. My guilty pleasure movie is Rock Star.
12. I am the middle child within my family.
13. I have 2 Bachelor's Degrees.
14. I am allergic to corn.
15. I am getting married in September!

Ok so there you go, folks. Easy peasy.  But I assure you, it gets much more intimate as time goes on!